How Do I Know If I Am Living In A “toxic Relationship” As A Couple?

Sometimes it seems that love is not enough to have a harmonious and fruitful relationship. Or what is even more dangerous: sometimes we realize that that person who claims to love us does it in the worst possible way, making us unhappy and offering us only jealousy and mistrust. Has it happened to you? Do you think you have a toxic relationship with your partner? If so, keep reading.

At first glance, once you have already gone through certain experiences, it may seem easy to recognize a toxic relationship as a couple, but it is not always so. Hence, we can all fall into them on more than one occasion. This is in part because when we love someone we suffer a cognitive and emotional distortion to which it costs a lot to “wake up”.

Next, we will help you to know the most obvious clues so that you are more attentive from now on and can put a stop in time to what you do not like or is not giving you anything positive.

Clues from a toxic couple relationship

1. See walls where you used to have doors

It is very possible that before having a partner, you were quite an independent person. You had your job and you made your own decisions, you met your friends, you went out with your co-workers and you calmly planned your daily routines. But now…

• You can no longer decide what you want to do, since before you have to agree on it with your partner. When you tell him that you are going to do something specific like a company dinner, or go shopping with a relative, it is common to find prohibitions.
• Your life has been coerced overnight. Living in the epicenter of a toxic relationship as a couple can make one have to take care, for example, of clothing style, use of makeup, or the privacy of the mobile phone.

• You also begin to see a clear limitation in your own future prospects. It is possible that your partner does not agree that you improve at work. From one day to the next, you begin to see walls in illusions that were your own before.
• Day by day, you see how an invisible shell is surrounding you.

2. Your emotional balance is compromised

There are many women who start an emotional relationship with great enthusiasm. Love is very intense, such an overflowing, sincere and full emotion, in which it is normal to offer everything we have to the person we love. But remember, it is necessary to love with balance, always taking care of our self-esteem.

• A toxic relationship as a couple always has emotional manipulation as a fundamental pillar . And this is exercised in the most subtle and destructive ways.
• Toxic people always seek their main benefit. Always remember that every manipulative person has an insecure personality and low self-esteem. This insecurity generates distrust and a desire for control over the partner. He is afraid of being abandoned, that others will take away the person he loves. And this leads to continuous vigilance and excessive jealousy …

• The desire for control generates in them a position of absolute power where only one exercises the right to make decisions. If you do not do what your partner asks you, he will use cunning tricks to make you feel guilty, victimizing himself and making you believe that you are to blame for everything. You must be careful.

3. An unhappiness that grows day after day

You can continue to love your partner, however something curious happens: when he is not with you, you rest. You find “air” and you relax. You see even with some envy those other couples who live with more harmony, where both respect each other’s personal spaces and personal growth is possible.

You feel a pressure inside you. You feel unsatisfied and you notice how everything that used to identify you is being lost, fraying … You are not the same as before. And you notice it, your self-esteem has plummeted and you perceive yourself a little broken inside.

You must take into account all these data. It is very common that this emotional weakness in which we have fallen ends up somatizing us.

What does this mean? That anxiety, fear, worry, becomes, for example, a headache or back pain, nausea, chronic pain … There are many women who go to the doctor and do not get a proper diagnosis.

They can tell you, for example, that you suffer from migraines, but in reality, what you suffer is a depression generated by your unhappiness.

Leaving a toxic relationship with your partner

It is curious, but statistical data tell us that a toxic relationship can last many years. How can this be possible? Basically for the following aspects:

• Because many women are afraid of the possible consequences of leaving their partner. They fear for their children, or that their spouse may harm them.
• We must also take into account that there are people who do not conceive of “being without a partner.” So they get carried away, so to speak, they get carried away by that unhappiness because it will always be better than living alone.

• Sometimes these relationships last a long time because the couple continues to love each other. They love each other badly, they cause each other harm, but they do not conceive of another form of existence. It is curious, but it is true.

To get out of a toxic relationship, it is first necessary that you be aware of what is happening. Understand that this way you will not be able to be happy. Your friends and family may have noticed the clues long before you. Pay attention to them, seek support if you need it.

The second step will be to discuss it with your partner. Tell him how you feel, talk about your feelings, your frustration and your unhappiness. If you see that he is not doing his part to improve the situation, if you perceive that there is no will to change … stay away.

Your integrity, your peace of mind and your physical and emotional health come first, never hesitate.