Forgive Your Parents, They Did The Best They Could

Forgives. Not because with this you are going to “erase the past” or “look better” socially. Forgive to let go of the weight of discomfort, to heal yourself, to live better and let others also live better. 

If you consider that your parents failed, disappointed or hurt you in the past, and you live with the pain very present in each step you take and with it making the wounds more and more deep with each encounter and interaction … It is very possible that this discomfort prevents you from maintaining good emotional management in various aspects of your life.

If you think about it, your parents may have done what they did because they didn’t know how to do it any other way. Either because they did not have the most appropriate tools or ways to cope with certain issues in the family nucleus, or because they may not have had knowledge or training in certain areas, such as emotional intelligence for example, because the society at that time was not ready for it. It may also be that their education, experiences, personality and other factors have come together, and have led to the treatment you received that did not do you well … even if they did not even realize it.

Maybe it wasn’t even his intention to hurt you. Perhaps they only did what they did because they did not know how to do anything else at the time, because they could not think of other alternatives or because they simply did not have the tools that you do. Perhaps you, if you had been in their place, with their experiences, circumstances, advantages and disadvantages, you would have ended up doing the same.

Let’s reflect a little more on this.

Forgive your parents, they have not known how to do better

Forgive your parents because they did not know how to do better , because no one has taught them to fulfill this important role that they have decided to play.

We are aware that many times that phrase appears in your mind that many people say: “Well, they wouldn’t have had me!” However, this is something your parents don’t deserve to hear. Put yourself in their place for a moment, without judging them, and ask yourself how would you feel if your child told you that?

Also forgive  your parents to also forgive yourself when you find yourself making similar mistakes or that may arise in any other field.

Nobody is free to make mistakes and even less when he has the education and responsibility of raising another human being in his hands. Forgive your parents because, believe it or not, their mistakes and errors have had something positive.

Do you know what it is? That you, being aware of this, can take another path, do it much better. However, if resentment continues to dwell in your heart, you will end up doing the same, even if you don’t realize it, and even worse.

On the other hand, it is important that you bear in mind that no one has come into the world to impose their truth or their justice on others. That is, even when they have hurt you, it is not up to you to “give them their punishment.” The only thing that is in your hands is to learn to manage the discomfort to grow and move forward.

Free yourself from that slab, that anchor

Sometimes, this anger towards a difficult childhood – caused by parents who have not known how to do it better – causes us to carry a slab full of bitterness for years. We don’t know why, but we can’t find true happiness. And there is something that we do not want to see or heal.

Pride is sometimes the one that does not forgive, and we wait for the other to come and apologize. However, why extend our suffering further?

It is our happiness that is at stake, it is our responsibility to choose now the path we want to follow. We are no longer little children, we are no longer at the mercy of our parents. Now we are adults who must take that first step, without waiting for others to do so. Be careful, this does not mean crawling, it does not imply humiliating yourself or agreeing with anyone.

Forgive to close cycles and release that discomfort that darkens the world.

Of all you can learn

As we mentioned, you decide if you turn around everything you’ve experienced or if you continue to carry that weight that, in one way or another, can lead you to take the same steps that you once judged bad. Keep one thing in mind: you can always ask for professional help to manage the past, grow as a person and move on.

Even when you’ve had a hard time, you can go beyond the pain and try to focus on the constructiveness of your experiences. Because you need it and because that can help you to be better in the future. Also, keep in mind that from many experiences – both positive and negative – we can get the best lessons for life.

You don’t have to do a “clean slate” and pretend to live in a cartoon movie in which everything is rosy, forcing affection, trust or even respect. No. Actually, all it would take is for you to take the initiative to manage and heal the wounds and bad tastes of the past to improve the current situation for yourself and others.

Your parents did what they did and that cannot be changed, but it is in your power to change your feeling and your way of managing it to gain well-being and generate healthy bonds.